Another week over.

But what a week it has been! I have to admit to being utterly confused as to all the developments of the past week.

Wednesday and Thursday I went out for karaoke. On Wednesday, Dan, Lisa, Jenny, Mary Alyce, Rocky, Ray, and Tim were also there. M.A. came late and left early, followed shortly by Dan & Lisa, Jenny, and Ray, who was feeling under the weather. That left Tim, Rocky, and me. Rocky and Tim were dancing with some chicks in the bar. I think he must have felt sorry for me or something because he ended up asking me to dance. I hated to say yes, but I didn't want to be mean. So, I became Rocky's dance partner for most of the night. This carried over to Thursday. D, L, J, MA, Mumaugh, went out to the Electric Cowboy in Jackson. I was pretty tired from having stayed out till 1 or 2 in the morning Wednesday night, so I did not attend. Rather, Rocky asked if I wanted to come hang out, so I said sure. Then we went to Jacques' again for Kamikaze Karaoke Thursdays. Basically, the guy can pick your song for you, or you can pick your own song. I had a few drinks and then decided I had enough courage to put my name on the list. That night I ended up singing "I Fall to Pieces," "Jackson," (duet with Rocky), "Picture," (also a duet with Rocky) and "Someone Saved My Life Tonight." According to Rocky I did really well on I Fall to Pieces. According to me, I did horrible on all of it. Rocky sang Kaw-liga and Midnight in Montgomery. There wasn't as much dancing on this night. There was in the beginning, but I think he got bored and didn't want to.

Anyway, so the point is that I'm a little confused. Rocky didn't have my number until Wednesday, when we ended up trading them for some reason. Since then, I keep getting texts from him. I'm sure it's nothing, as he knows I'm engaged, but it was still an awkward beginning to the night on Thursday. I hung out over at his house until we left for Jacques'. We took his truck which made it feel like a date. We split the tab, so that was good. But on the way to Jacques we were talking and it almost seemed like he was trying out these weird lines on me. Something about becoming more liberal as he grew older...which I could only guess from my profile is how he knew for sure I was a liberal since we don't really talk. Ever. I wasn't even sure if he knew my name.

Anyway, last night was Friday. I decided to go see the movie Dinner For Schmucks, so I invited people to join me. Someone reminded me that we had our cookout that night at 6. I said that was fine, we could leave from there. Well, Rocky texted that he wasn't much of a movie person. I tried to guilt trip him into going, but he didn't. Oh well. He texted me before the movie though, which was odd.

And then today I get a text at 4:30 when I was just off work saying "Another day in paradise." So I responded in kind. Asked if he was going out with us to the seafood buffet, having forgotten that today was the living history pizza fest at Pizza Hutt. So, needless to say, he was not going to join us there. HOWEVER, I received various texts, plus a phone call while I was at home, and then one while we just started eating (it took over an hour to pay & get seated at the casino buffet). When he called the 2nd time, he mentioned something about going to miss his dance partner.

Also, when we dance, it's a simple box step. I let him lead, etc. etc. But then occasionally (usually on extra-slow songs) he'll bring up "junior high" dancing and talk about how everyone's doing it but us. And then I can say, yeah, but we're not everybody else, or something to that effect. Whatever I say, he decides to continue with his box step.

I was half tempted to text him to see if he actually went out to karaoke tonight, or if he ended up staying at home. I guess I'll find out tomorrow when I bring the fam out to the park.

I just wish I wasn't so confused. And that's just one dude who confuses me....

Eeesh.

It was my first day back to my regular work schedule. Last week I was in charge of a Junior Ranger Day Camp, so I was trying to herd children ages 6-12. That was quite difficult and exhausting. Aside from that, I felt completely out of the loop of normality. Then I had a three day weekend, which was lovely, but it only furthered my separation. Today I was back at work on the boat.

"The boat" is actually a ship. It's the U.S.S. Cairo, which was a Union ironclad ship that was sunk in the Yazoo River. It was found and raised in 1964. Now it's at the park. Yeehaw. When one is working at the Cairo, one should expect a long day. Not as many people get there compared to the visitor center. And, we work till 6:00 p.m. out there, a full hour after the VC has closed down. We get to listen to them call over the radio "out of service," which is both good and bad. On the bright side, it means we only have an hour left. The bad news is that we still have an hour left. I keed, I keed. I like working at the Cairo because it means I get to sleep in a little bit--I can wake up at 7:30 instead of 6:00. That's actually quite a good chunk of time, when we're talking about sleep.

Anyway, so it was my first day back and you know those are always a little shaky. I had some talks to deliver to visitors. Not really a problem. Except that today of all days, one of the permanent guys was in his civilian clothes to go on one of my talks. He stayed for about 2 minutes and then left, missing the best parts. Once I got going, it was a great talk. But the first couple minutes of every talk are usually the most awkward. It's when you introduce yourself, talk a little to the visitors about where they're from, etc. Anyway, his only critique was that I said "um" a few times I guess. That's fine. I'm cool with that. He said it really wasn't a distraction, but it was something he was listening for, so of course he noticed it. Meh.

Honestly, all day I just wanted to get out of the boat area. In the museum by the ship, there is approximately a 1% chance of cell phone service. I'm not necessarily a huge phone person, but it's really handy to be able to get information or text if I need to. I suppose it makes me a better worker for not being one of those people who is completely involved in their cell phones. As of late, though, I've enjoyed the texting mechanism of my little BlackBerry. I do love a great conversation, and new acquaintances are always a good way to spice up the mundanity that is my normal life of texts.

I think I'm going to retire for the evening. Had the Hibachi Buffet tonight, which has turned me into a blimp! I only ate one plate and a small bowl of ice cream. I was full when I had the ice cream, but it's hand dipped and Cookies & Cream, the best stand-alone flavor ever. It was yummy, but I'm feeling it now! Ugh. Back to the grind tomorrow....

A new beginning

Well, I'm starting yet another blog. I used to blog fairly regularly on MySpace. Ah, yes, MySpace, the abandoned amusement park of the internet. After reading over a lot of the posts, I really don't remember a lot of what was going on when I wrote them. Of course, I remember the big stuff--breaksups, crushes, etc. I'm actually a little surprised at what I posted there. So I'll start with this guy for a while. Maybe I can get something going on a regular basis. For now, I intend this to be some sort of catharsis, a place where I can just vent and get things out there.

Current mood: Confused

I have a problem in the way I deal with people. I am one of these folks that over analyzes everything. It's kinda my job as a budding historian to analyze things and think critically, so in some ways I can't help it. In others ways, however, I am probably just crazy. Sometimes a cigar is just a cigar. With most people, what you see is what you get. Except I look for what I'm not getting, or what I could be getting. Combine the overanalyzing with a wild imagination, and you get the problem I have of running conversations in my head. I much prefer the written word for conversations because the act of texting, chatting, or emailing forces me to choose my words carefully, and not just blurt out the first thing that comes to mind, which is usually something clumsy. I share too much, use the wrong words, or muck up whatever I'm trying to get across.

Someone told me I should write. So this will be an attempt to do just that.